The room was cold and the lights were dim. Slow squeaking of a wooden rocking chair on a tile floor created a rhythmic tune as gravity pulled me forward and backwards; forward and backwards. 72 hours of praying and pleading with God and for what? Before my eyes, in my arms, my first-born son took his last breath. It’s a moment I’ll never EVER forget.
The fading warmth of his little body, nestled so tight and close to my heart, was no longer with me. The nurses allowed us to spend as much time as we wanted before we had to give his sweet little body to the mortuary. It’s a pain that you wouldn’t wish on your worse enemy!
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN GOD SAYS NO?
I can answer that, and to your surprise, the answer may blow your mind. That moment taught me an invaluable lesson.
Parents should “never” have to bury their children. The pain is off the charts! A miracle myself, I knew the power of God and how the dead can come to life. So why didn’t God answer my prayer and bring my son back? He was only 2 months old. He didn’t deserve to die.
Anger? Yes! Why? Why did you have to take my son….? I’ve learned, when tragedy strikes, you can’t see in the moment the reason for why God says yes or no. You’re in so much pain, you can’t feel through the ruptured heart to even begin to think about the positives or the up-side to the tragedy. Overcome? Not for a while.
It took me a few years, and two amazing births later, to see that God blessed me double for my trouble. You see, the blessings and wisdom I gained from experiencing the death of a child has made me a better mother. I’ve been able to share my story with those grieving a loss of a loved one.
Today, I have two amazingly talented young men who walk in such an anointing that I could have never knew to pray and cover them in declarations of anointing and blessing unless I had experienced the tragedy of Jailyn. And, Jailyn is an amazing Guardian Angel that makes his presence felt and known ALL the Time!
When our loved ones pass, they don’t leave. Their spirit is continually with us. The pains of yesterday are gains that have blessed me and my family. The tests and trails are our triumphs that have bolstered us to a success beyond our wildest dreams.
When God says, “No.” Keep praising Him. Keep thanking Him. Keep declaring that you may not know why but you will continually praise Him because His ways are higher than our ways.
You see, if Jailyn would have lived, he would have been brain-dead and a vegetable. Our lives would have been so much different. Instead, God gave me double for my trouble. My 2nd born, now 20 years old, is a professional entrepreneur with an impressive income and my youngest (a baseball prodigy) is projected to be drafted by the MLB in an upcoming top round. God’s blessings and anointing chased them down… He opened the windows of Heaven and poured out a blessing that we truly can’t contain… yet we give back and bless others. One thing for sure, they live righteously so that they will meet their brother at the gates of Heaven.
So when you come to a situation, and you don’t get that Yes, keep your eyes on Him. Through the tears, your fears, and the heartache… Praise precedes the Victory. Keep the faith and know that you will come out better off. You may not see it at the moment, but I am living proof that God will not leave you, forsake you or disappoint you. His ways are greater, His thinking beyond our thinking… and His love for you is unconditional.
I’d love to hear your testimony of when God said NO, yet you overcame double for your trouble. Comment below. I look forward to hearing from you.
Your testimony may be the Rx that someone needs to hear today!